Recirculating energy

It doesn't happen overnight, far from it, but one day you become aware that something is happening. Constant discomfort, pain that runs through different parts of your body in an almost cyclical way, an uncontrolled increase in the money you spend on physiotherapy, a decrease in vitality in your day-to-day life, or worrying symptoms in your mental health. The bicycle, that jalopy The wonderful thing that had saved you so many times from falling into the darkest side of your mind was becoming the thing that was killing you at that moment in your life. Although it was not obvious at first glance, it was not the object itself that was to blame, but the way I was relating to it.

Pedaling kept me alive, but I needed to change my point of view. Long days of training, for too many days a week, to get something from which I was not getting any satisfaction, only to satisfy the unhealthy desire to meet the expectations of others. Others whose opinion I didn't really care about, or who didn't even exist outside of my mind.

When, for the sake of my mental and physical health, I decided to turn over all those pages in my way of understanding cycling, let’s call it competitive, ultra-distance, or simply “more hormonal”, I felt that incorporating other “healing” activities into my bike rides could be an interesting way to learn to stop, to be, to simply be in the present moment, to recirculate my energy to something other than pedaling sixteen hours a day (to cite just one example). It became vitally important to banish words like “training” or “challenge” and simply seek health again. Because let’s not fool ourselves, there comes a point when you have to choose between performance and health. Between continuing to improve and feeling good.

This is how drawing, photography, and more recently the recording of soundscapes came about.

In the case of drawing, it is my usual ritual on my multi-day trips, once I have had dinner and prepared everything for sleep, whether I am bivouacking, with my tent, in a shelter, or in a lodge. For me, it is a perfect way to stop, to assimilate, and to reinforce what I have experienced, but above all, it is a therapy that gave greater meaning to my days during my healing process.

As for photography, it was the perfect motivation to lift my gaze from the front wheel or the damned little screen, and be more aware of what I was pedaling. I no longer got up early to do more kilometers, but to catch the sunrise. I no longer stretched out the day out of habit, but to see where I could enjoy the “golden hour.” Again: therapy.

And finally, the new arrival, the audio recorder and the microphones. I'm seeing it as a step further. It's not about being aware of the places I visit, but about being part of them. It forces you to stop, sit down, set up the equipment, and, in silence, listen to it for a while. It is, so to speak, a way of experiencing that landscape. Of living in that landscape. Of being that landscape.

Being able to hit the pause button and slowly recirculate part of that energy towards these activities allowed me to gain awareness and, above all, to manage a situation that was starting to get out of hand. The daily routine of these times makes us live at a pace that sometimes prevents us from seeing the scenario with sufficient perspective, whether in our work, family, social life, or even in something as innocent as our free time and the activities we carry out in it. Finding activities that allow you to reconnect with yourself is vitally important. What are yours?

My drawing kit:

• Paper:
  • Moleskine A6 300g watercolor notebook
  • Watercolor postcard block 300g Winsor & Newton A6 
  • Cervantes A6 180g Notebook
• Watercolors:
  • Art Toolkit Explore Palette 
  • Daler Rowney watercolours
• Sakura brush with reservoir
• Micron 005 waterproof marker
• Mechanical pencil and eraser.

My photography kit:

• Body: Sony Alpha 6500.
• Lens: Samyang 35mm 2.8

My audio recording kit:

• Recorder: Zoom F3
• Microphones:
  • Sonorous Objects SO.1 Omni
  • Immersive Soundscapes Earsight Cardioid